Saturday, January 26, 2008

2008 - Browns Cut List - Defensive Backs

#21 Brodney Pool - FS - 3rd Year
What's the deal with the name? Parents couldn't decide between Brian and Rodney? Couldn't have gone with B. Rodney Pool? Then I could give you a cool nickname like "The Divine Rod". Now I'm stuck with "The Divine Brod"? Thanks, jack ass. You looked lost the first part of the year taking over for Brian Russell and it hurt. But you came on at the end. It was your first year as a starter and you improved as the season wore on. Keep it and I can see good things in cut lists of the future.

#22 Brandon McDonald - CB - Rookie
Who was this character in the hospital? And why was he trying to kill Nordberg? And for whom? Did Ludwig lie to me? I didn't have any proof, but, somehow, I didn't entirely trust him, either. Why was the I Luv You not listed in Ludwig's records? And if it was, did he know about it? And if he didn't, who did? And where the hell did Brandon McDonald come from? These are the gems we need Phil Savage to continue to find. They lack of depth the Browns had in previous regimes is slowly starting to be eliminated and McDonald is a prime example. Stepping up when injuries took their toll and playing well. Watching him shut down Andre Johnson was great and seeing him always be around the play on special teams was great. No sophomore slump please. Also, thank you for the readily available nickname, B-Mac.

#24 Eric Wright - CB - Rookie
You started off a little slow, but that was to be expected. By the end of the year you looked as solid as can be. With you B-Mac and Bodden, the Browns look go to go in the secondary for a while. Also, you may be the solidest tackler on the team and you're only a rookie. Kudos for proving your doubters wrong by keeping your nose clean at UNLV after getting into trouble at USC. I know that makes LA one of your least favorite places but it has to be done...

"Cruisin' down the street in my '64
It's like that and it's like this
I took her to the pad and we started to kiss
Now my (expletive deleted)'s on hard ya know what I'm thinkin'
Took her panties off and her (expletive deleted) was stinkin'
Pulled off my draws and we started to begin
Now the (expletive deleted)' wet so my (expletive deleted) slides in
Oh, hiddy hiddy hiddy you hoe
Ridin' from the back so I'm (expletive deleted) kinda slow
So fee fie foe (expletive deleted) fum
She's scratchin' on my back oh here she comes
Now I gotta get a nutt gotta get a nutt gotta get it quick
Ya know because I love this (expletive deleted) so
Gimme that, that, that nutt
Gimme that, that, that nutt
Gimme that, that, that nutt
Gimme that, Gimme that, Gimme that nutt..."

(Personal note: This was the theme song to the 1994 Strongsville Mustangs' Football Team played after every game in the basement of Trey Donze's house. Special thanks to QB Kevin Walsh for making this the team's theme song. You stay classy K-Dubs!)

#26 Sean Jones - SS - 4th Year
Ok, so you had trouble stepping up calling the coverages after Brian Russell left. It sucked. It really did. You made all opposing tight ends look like John Mackey (I still refuse to acknowledge Benedict Ozzie). It's OK. I forgive you. By the end of the year, things were well adjusted and you were making plays and big hits again. Just tackle, please? I know you can hit very hard but it does no good if the guy with the balls bounces off of you and runs for 15 more yards. It's very disheartening to the fans, teammates and coaches. Please, I think you can be as good as Troy Poopamalu and Ed Reed except without the stupid hair and gangsta thug lives. Make me want to buy your jersey. I expect big things from you in 2008. Don't let me down.

#28 Leigh Bodden - CB - 5th Year
Just stay healthy, that's all I ask. Whenever you are healthy, you make plays. Gimpy, not so much. I don't know why this a difficult task for you but it is. When you were a rookie and playing special teams as a gunner on the punt team you never got hurt, not once. Now you sneeze and we're screwed. Stay healthy. Buy a hyperbolic chamber or something, just stay healthy. And just for the record... even if you are a football player, and your baby's momma and your two kids are sick and somehow having trouble figuring out how to exit Hopkins International Airport, you can not park you car outside at the arrival gates. They wouldn't care if you were a diplomat. In DC they would shoot you then detain you at Guantanamo Bay for this. I don't care if the cop was being a jerk, it's common knowledge you can do this. Assclown.

#39 Daven Holly - CB - 3rd Year
Last year you were like money. Signed after training camp, thrust into action and making plays left and right. Someway, somehow the ball would find you and you'd make a play. This year you struggled right off the bat and never seemed to get right. You started off as the nickel back but seemed to get replaced in 3 and 4 DB packages by Mike Adams and Brandon McDonald. Your season can be summed up in one play. Week 16, Cincinnati. Opening kickoff. The Bungals fumble. It bounces right to you... and you drop it and the Bungals recover. You get that fumble it's a different ballgame. It just seemed like you couldn't buy a break this year. Still, it's was only your 3rd year but you have now fallen behind Bodden, Easy E and B-Mac. Your fate depends on Gary Baxter's and the rookie Free Agent class.

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