Yes, it's that time again. In the honor of legendary Coach Homer J. Simpson, it's time for the 2008 Cleveland Browns Cut List. A look back at the 2007 season, who should stay, who should go, who I hate and who I love. Some of the reasoning is logical, some of it is insane. That's the beauty of the Cut List. The only thing missing is another cameo of Lang Campbell, QB for a day. So, without further ado... "Lock up your daughters, lock up your wives, lock up the back door and run for your lives!"
2008 CLEVELAND BROWNS CUT LIST
12 - Syndric Steptoe - WR - Rookie
Where do I begin? You are a wide receiver, check. You were on the practice squad all year, check. Never on the active roster, check. Now to my knowledge the Browns only have 2 wide receivers on the roster, Braylon and Joe J. So it would make sense to have more than 2 WR on the active roster but you can't make the active roster but we need more WRs on the active roster, it's like a paradox or a plot of a bad Star Trek episode...
... but there's something fishy about you... way too familiar... not Kaz Tadano familiar but familiar nonetheless... heyyyyy... wait a second... You're less than 6' tall... You went to Arizona... You play WR... You are more of a punt returner than a WR... You have sketchy hands... Holy sh!t, you're Dennis Northcutt, Jr! Sweet Frickin' Jesus! This is the worst thing to happen to the Browns since the real Dennis Northcutt.
STEPTOE - CUT! CUT! CUT! CUT! CUT!
33 - Kory Chapman - RB - 2nd Year
Chapman, you've bounced around from Baltimore to New England to Indy in 3 years. Not 3 cities you want to mention in C-Town right now.
CHAPMAN - CUT!
37 - A. J. Davis - DB - Rookie
Davis the Lions drafted you in the 4th Round and then cut you. The Lions cut you. Ouch.
DAVIS - CUT!
63 - Cliff Louis - OL - Rookie
Louis, you're 6'-8" 300 but couldn't beat out Nat Dorsey.
LOUIS - SPARED ONLY DUE TO HATRED OF ONE NATHANIEL DORSEY
79 - Zach West - DL - Rookie
West you were signed to the practice squad before Week 17. ***Congrats, you get the Lang Campbell Memorial - I Was On the Roster For Only One Week So I Get to Appear On The Browns All-Time Roster Award!*** Kudos!
WEST - CUT!
83 - Steve Sanders - WR - 1st Year
Sanders, you're a Cleveland guy and a BGSUer like Moms. Not too shabby. We do need another WR... hmmm.
SANDERS - SPARED BLATANT NEPOTISM
85 - Brad Cieslak - TE - 3rd Year
Cieslak, you've played for the Bills and they cut you. You've been around for 3 years, why are you still on a practice squad?
CIESLAK - CUT!
97 - Chase Pittman - DE - Rookie
Pittman, you know what I found out? Your full name is Benjamin Chase Pittman. That's fishy right there. People who go by their middle names. You went to LSU. You are basically a clone of Simon Frasier except you went to LSU and not OSU. When Ethan Kelley went on IR they activated Melila Purcell and not you.
PITTMAN - DEAR LORD WE NEED DEFENSIVE LINEMEN I CAN'T CUT YOU YOU SEC PIECE OF CRAP
5 - Efrem Hill - WR - 1st Year
Dear Efrem, thank you for catching Brady Quinn's first ever TD in pre-season. It kicked of Brady-Mania and gave the town hope for years to come. Unfortunately, that play was all about Mr. Quinn and nothing about you. Please note, as you spent to entire year on IR you do NOT appear on the Browns All-Time Roster. If you are a wide receiver and you are given a single digit number it is generally not a good sign.
HILL - CUT!
13 - Kyle Basler - P - 1st Year
The white guy Afro is pretty cool, I'll give you that. But you are not a cool as Scott Player and his porn 'stache and I do not despise you as much as Paul Ernster which puts you in no man's land. Also, Spurgeon Wynn used to wear #13, bad karma my man. Oh yeah, and you have John Elway horse teeth.
BASLER - CUT!
20 - Mike Adams - S - 4th Year
You played very well on special teams, backing up Jones and Pool and in the dime packages before you got hurt. You always seemed to be around the ball and don't make mistakes. Now that the Browns are good, they can focus on acquiring depth. Mike Adams, congratulations...
ADAMS - KEEP
23 - Gary Baxter - DB - 7th Year
I am amazed you can even wall after popping both patella tendons. Kudos to you for making it back, holding up through training camp and making the active roster. I don't know if you'll even play again, but if you do I hope it's here as you can provide some depth and veteran leadership to a young secondary.
BAXTER - KEEP AND GOD BLESS
37 - Justin Sandy - S - 2nd Year
You were on the practice squad last year. Good for you. You were on IR all this year. Not good for you.
SANDY - CUT!
52 - Matt Stewart - LB - 7th Year
You were awful last year. 14 tackles in 4 starts awful. You got hurt this year. I'm sorry you blew out your shoulder but you're not helping at all. Andra Davis is faster than you, not good. I will give you credit, you did leave the Falcons organization before the poop hit the fan. Good timing on that one, chief. For the second year in a row...
53 - Kris Griffin - LB - 3rd Year
So let's see. You grew up in Beaver, PA... You went to Indiana University of Pennsylvania... Because of your arrival the Browns released Dr. Poove's favorite Mormon and bald brother, Mason Unck, depriving everyone of seeing him run like a mad man into a wedge. Then, to top it off, you take his #53 just to spite him. How dare you, sir, how dare you in deed.
GRIFFIN - CUT! YOU PITTSPUKE PIECE OF CRAP!
57 - LeCharles Bentley - C - 6th Year
Your situation might be worse than Gary Baxter's. The injury, the staph infection, the second surgery. Ugly. Plus you are C-Town born and bred. But why are you so surly? I am curious as to what the deal is. I have to know. Regardless, with the Browns O-Line now a strength, you can only make it better. Godspeed, LeChuck.
BENTLEY - KEEP AND GOD BLESS
68 - Seth McKinney - G - 6th Year
Who doesn't love a fat guy with red hair and a chin goatee? Honestly? But you've got to stay healthy bro. A broken leg in 2005. A broken neck in 2006. Separated shoulder in 2007. Come on my man. You played well until you got hurt but the Tuckster played better. The good Browns are all about depth so I hope you resign and hope you stay healthy. Maybe it's number karma? You are taunting The 69 Game by wearing #68.
MCKINNEY - KEEP
73 - Alvin Smith - DL - 1st Year
You're named after one of the Chipmunks. Hines Ward is the Evil Chipmunk. Strike one. You are wearing #73. I think someone else on the Browns who is a little better than you is wearing that number now. Strike two. You were on the practice squad last year when the Browns stunk and they never activated you. Strike three.
SMITH - CUT!
78 - Ethan Kelley - NT - 3rd Year
I want to cut you but I always see you hustling. You're undersized for a NT but you get decent pressure. I am not sure if it's that everyone else sucks so you look better or you actual have talent and would fit well into a rotation of D linemen. You should not start but I think you're worth keeping around. Don't blow it.
KELLEY - KEEP
92 - Ted Washington - NT - 17th Year
I met you at Training Camp in 2006. You were the surliest SOB and it was great. But anytime a kid said hello to you you said hello back. You are by far the largest Brown in history, and you're lucky they only list you at 375. But you were dog poo this year. It was so bad that you were inactive for a couple games and then you got put on IR for being fat. Not good my man. You were great when you were in your prime but that was years ago. At least I heard you were a good tutor and mentor for the younger players on defense. Hang them up, get a whistle and a clipboard and lose 125 pounds.
WASHINGTON - RETIRE OR BE CUT!
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