Saturday, February 2, 2008

2008 - Browns Cut List - Offensive Line

#50 Marvin Philip - C - 2nd Year
The Steelers drafted you in 2006 tried to stash you on the practice squad this year and we picked you up late season. You were inactive all three games. I do believe in stockpiling young offensive linemen however.

#61 Isaac Sowells - OL - 2nd Year
The Browns seem to like you but you've only played 1 game in two years. That's good because it means they're haven't been a ton of injuries. You can play G and T... always a plus.

#62 Lennie Friedman - G - 9th Year
Let's forget the fact that you are a reliable back-up and can offer help at both center and guard. Let's talk about the important things. You are recognized as having on of the best senses of humor in the locker room. You are often seen reading the Wall Street Journal before and after games. You majored in Psychology at Duke. You were inducted into the Jewish Sports Hall of Fame in 2004. You are one of our few unrestricted Free Agents I hope they bring you back.

#65 Eric Steinbach - LG - 5th Year
The fact you are not in the Pro Bowl is a travesty. You wrecked people all year and have a nasty streak. Your signing was the first step in the off-season turn around and you have been well worth that $49M.

#66 Hank Fraley - C - 8th Year
Getting you for a 7th Round draft pick was a steal. You are the leader of the O-Line even through you are not the best player. You take charge and aren't afraid to get into anyone's face. Plus you are so portly that your jersey rolls up your massive belly because you snap and the two 6s ball up and look like 0s on your man boobs and that makes me laugh. Keep on knocking them down Fat Hank!

#70 Nat Dorsey - T - 4th Year
You're lazy. There's no denying it. It's plagued you since college. It's why you dropped into the 4th Round of the draft. It's why the Vikings traded you to us for Melvin Fowler who is now an above average OL in Buffalo. It's why you took a play off in the Oakland game and let a game winning field goal get blocked. I can not believe the Browns cut Kelly Butler in favor of you. He played hard, worked hard and never got noticed. Offensive linemen shouldn't get noticed. If they do it means they F'd up. You always seem to get noticed.

#72 Ryan Tucker - RG - 11th Year
Let me tell you something, Brother! At the end of 2006 when I was training, saying my prayers (talking to the make believe people in my head) and taking my vitamins (steroids) everyone thought I was on the brink of destruction, Brother. And that long, hard first month of the season when I was banned from the ring (Browns Practice Facility) all the little Cleveland-Maniacs were wondering what the future held for me, Brother. But let me tell you something, Brother! I knew all along that the Right Guard position was calling my name, Brother! And when I finally returned all was finally wRight in the world, Brother! Cleveland-Mania is runnin' wild like it's never run before! This is where the power lies, Brother! So whatcha gonna do, BROTHER, when the Tuckster runs wild on you!

#73 Joe Thomas - LT - Rookie
The pick that may have changed the course of the franchise. The Stienbach signing made no sense without drafting you. Pro Bowl in your first season and I expect you to be there for over a decade. Great coo by Savage to fool everyone into thinking we weren't going to select you. Anything I type can't do you justice.

#77 Kevin Shaffer - RT - 6th Year
You weren't stellar but we noticed you much less this year. You had the occasional false start or hold but no where near to the 10-11 times a game in 2006. I found myself cursing you less and less with each game. Who would have thought that a simple flip-flop from LT to RT would have done wonders for the HPC, baby! This is a first. The first person, ever, that I have cut in a previous year and rebounded the year after. Ladies and gentlemen for the first time in Cut List History...

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