Can Victor Martinez make me worship him? Honestly, the All-Star game performance, the emotion after the ALCS, the leadership, the mentoring of the other Venezuelan players, how can you not love this guy? He had a crappy 2006 and made it a point to be a better catcher while not impacting his bat. This guy IS the leader of the team.
How many heart attacks will Iron Joe gives us? Yet he saved 45 games in 2007. It makes no sense, I have no answers. All I know is that the Indians are saving thousands of dollars on post-game meals by switching from Bob Wickman to Iron Joe and that the 9th inning when the Indians have a 3 run lead or less is one of the most painful things a man can go through.
Will Pronk come triumphantly return or will I curse him for 400 of his at-bats? He needs to come back so when Garko breaks out they can be like Batman and Robin and The Chinch and I can come up with a completely stupid, yet completely awesome, nickname for them. Ace and Gary is already taken, Rob.
Who is this Japanese pitcher, and why do I feel like I've seen him before?!? Will the Japanese guy actually pitch well or will all the Kaz Tadano jokes come back? Please don't be Kaz Tadano. Please don't be Kaz Tadano. Please don't be Kaz Tadano. Please don't be Kaz Tadano. The Chinch and I saw Kaz Tadano make him MLB debut at The Jake. My perception of Japanese pitchers has never been the same.
Is Andy K-Marte going to actually pan out or is he going to K all the time like last year? Get it? K-Marte! Ha ha ha ha ha!!! Ugh. Please be good.
Will I cave and buy an "As-man #13" J-shirt (that's a jersey t-shirt)? Absolutely not, Omar is the only #13 in my mind and the Feller #19 jersey is my rock. But I know someone from North Ridgeville who's getting a XXL "As-man #13" J-shirt for his anniversary! Wink, wink!
And most importantly, which of these two guys will make me madder:This is like the only part of the team I feel really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, nervous/uncomfortable about. Not like Iron Joe 9th inning uncomfortable. Despite it being torturous, that normally works out for us. (Knock on wood.) But this whole LF platoon thing just has train wreck written all over it. The Looch completely tore his hammy last year and did nothing against RHP last year. The Surfer Dude has already shown he is not an everyday player and really doesn't do anything really well except catch balls on the warning track when falling down when a normal player would have sought the ball while still in an upright position. Why do I feel like a trade is imminent, a 3-man rotation of Frankie Guut, El Francisco and Shin-Soo Choo (thank God he's Korean and not Japanese) in LF and RF is upon us, or Casey Blake is going to end up in the outfield again? Prove me wrong, boys. Prove me wrong.