Why Not?

This is a horrible match-up for the Browns and it unfortunately comes against their biggest rival. The Steelers offense presents a plethora of problems for good defenses. The Browns defense is not good. It is embarrassingly awful. They can pound Willie Parker against the porous Browns defense early, wearing down them while simultaneously keeping the potent Browns O on the sidelines. Doing this would leave the Browns D tired and easily susceptible to play action, which their DB (especially safeties) have been vulnerable to all season. Or they can use the passing game to set up the run as they have been doing most of the year. Taking advantage of the lack of pressure the Browns front 7 can generate, the Steelers could pick apart the Browns via the pass, gain an early lead and then salt away the clock by pounding the ball in the second half with Parker and Najeh Davenport. Either proposition is a possibility on Sunday.

The Steelers 3-4 D also presents problems for the Browns O. The Browns have traditionally struggled against the 3-4 D as evident by Derek Anderson's troubles agaisnt New England earlier this season. The Steelers have a stout nose tackle in Casey Hampton, as two run first ends who can also generate a decent pass rush. Their linebacking core is fast and athletic and James Harrison has more than filled the void left by Joey "Feces" Porter. Their defensive backfield has always been vulnerable but SS Troy Polamalu more than makes up for it by being a physical, intimidating presense. You never know who of or where from the Steelers D is going to come from.

Throw in the fact that the Browns are 3-15 against the Steelers since 1999 and that most of the games were not even close and it is a daunting task indeed. The Browns are starting to come into their own but the Steelers are more established, more talents and a better team that the Browns...

So why not shove it in their faces?

Why not hit Big Dumb Roethlisbozo ever time we have a chance because he's a cocky, condescending asshole who won't even credit his former Head Coach for his development?

Why not get Hines Ward back for his cheap shot on Daven Holly, for most of his amazing blocks come away from the play or after the play has moved down field and for the fact that his "smiling for the love of the game" is more taunting of a beaten opponent?

Why not show James Farrior and Larry Foote what a rivalry is and that the thing they think is a rivalry between Baltimore and Pittsburgh is shit?

Why not make the Appalachian Inbred Yinzer Scum wonder if Omar Epps really IS their Head Coach?

And why not make those towel waving assclowns shove those YELLOW towels the only place they truly belong?

It makes no sense. The odds of it happening are slim to none. The Steelers should win the game. They probably will win the game. But... WHY 'THE F' NOT? Who cares what everybody says? Who cares what the experts say? Why not the Browns? It's been a whacked out season of football. The team is actually playing with heart and soul for the first time in their reincarnation. The Browns players care about the rivalry something the Steelers players do not. It's small but maybe it's enough. It reminds me of a scene from a movie...

Joe J: War's over, man. Pittsburgh dropped the big one.

K2: Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

DA: Germans?

Braylon: Forget it, he's rolling.

K2: And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough... [thinks hard]

K2: the tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go! [runs out, alone; then returns]

K2: What the fuck happened to the Cleveland Browns I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Kellen, we might get in trouble." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Hines Ward, he's a dead man! Polamalu, dead! Roelisberger...

DA: Dead! Kellen's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.

K2: We're just the guys to do it.

Joe J: Let's do it.

K2: LET'S DO IT!

GO BROWNS!!!