2009 Cleveland Browns Cut List - Defensive Line

Defensive Linemen

71 Ahtyba Rubin, DL
You actually made a few plays here and there once you got some PT at the end of the year. A true nose tackle is hard to find and we need someone to spell Big Baby from time to time. Sad that only our sixth and seventh round draft choice were effective this season. KEEP.

91 Shaun Smith, DL
Carson Palmer called you the Hamburglar. Brady Quinn said you have a small penis. Some of your teammates insinuated you quit at mid season. You trash talk relentlessly which is fine but when you factor in that you came from the Bengals who love to keep malcontents and then chose not to re-sign you tells me maybe you are not that good. There is only one fate for you and your tiny penis. CUT!

92 Shaun Rogers, DL
Keep the weight within reason and stay motivated. DO that and you will be the best interior lineman the Browns have had in a long, long time. KEEP.

93 Louis Leonard, DL
You give it your all but you have zero effect on the game. Teams double team Rogers and you need to make plays or string it out. You did neither on a consistent basis. CUT!

97 Santonio Thomas, DL
See Leonard, Louis. CUT!

98 Robaire Smith, DL
Losing you early in the year was a huge blow. Big men with Achilles injuries have a difficult time recovering from them due to the weight placed on the heel. I hope you can recover, we need you. KEEP.

99 Corey Williams, DL
You look like the classic case of the square peg (not Sarah Jessica Parker) in the round hole. You were injured early in the year and struggled since. Regardless we need to see how you do with another season under your belt. KEEP.

2009 Cleveland Browns Cut List - RB & QB

Running Backs and Quarterbacks

3 Derek Anderson, QB

You had an incredible 2007 even though you tapered off. A smart GM would have traded you at your peak value. I expected you to fall off somewhat in 2008 but you crashed and burned. I still think you could be an effective QB but not in Cleveland. You were never going to be loved once Brady Quinn was drafted and those who cheered your injury should be embarrassed of themselves. I wish you well but it’s time to move on. CUT! Trade actually.

7 Bruce Gradkowski, QB

Your QB Rating for the year was 2.8. Do I need to say anything else you Pittspuke piece of crap? CUT!

10 Brady Quinn, QB

I think you can be the man. Will you be the savior like some think? I will believe it when I see it. But think entails being a leader. So when a big fat guy with a small penis is talking smack on you in the weight room you need to walk away and be the bigger man instead of pointing out he has a small penis. Also, no more wacky pictures. No more Village People gear at wedding. No more flexing with Brett Michaels of Poison. Subway commercials are cool. Pimping EAS on TV, cool. Got it? KEEP.

11 Ken Dorsey, QB

No one expected you to throw a pass this year so I can not hold you fully responsible for that. But after seeing you play at length there is no way that a roster spot can be wasted on you. Retire and get into coaching, you obviously have a future there. ESPN’s Bill Simmons delivered the infamous quote, “Good God, that’s Ken Dorsey’s music!” If you did have music it would be “Blaze of Glory” by Bon Jovi. Because the Browns season went down in one once you took over. CUT!

31 Jamal Lewis, RB

The tread on the tires is wearing down but you can still be effective. You may tippy-toe here and there but you still play hard, you still play hurt and you still play with passion and that counts for something. 10,000 career rushing yards, 1,000 yards in a season again and zero cocaine deals with in Cleveland. All numbers to be proud of. KEEP.

35 Jerome Harrison, RB

You made me a believer. You need 10-15 touches a game. Every time you touch the ball you are a threat to take it to the house. A competent coaching staff would have figured that out long ago. KEEP.

41 Charles Ali, FB
A second fullback is a luxury but you were just mauling people left and right when Vickers was injured. You are not, in any situation, allowed to touch the ball no matter what. KEEP.

47 Lawrence Vickers, FB
Once you were the bane of my existence when Maurice Carthon was around due to Fullback Option Passes and other tomfoolery. Now you are one of the most underrated fullbacks in the NFL and a relieving threat out of the backfield. You have swayed me my firend. KEEP

2009 Cleveland Browns Cut List - Linebackers

Linebackers

52 D'Qwell Jackson, LB

It can not be ignored that you led the NFL in tackles. You actually make play at or behind the line of scrimmage. Your size will never let you be a dominant #1 inside linebacker in a 3-4 defense. However, if you keep this level of play up I think you can be an effective #2. KEEP.

54 Andra Davis, LB

Unless the Browns are playing in a blizzard, monsoon, earthquake or other natural disaster you are too slow and unable to make any sort of tackle for less than a five yard gain. In a 3-4 defense you need an inside linebacker to be an impact playmaker. You are not. You always gave it your all every play you just aren’t very good. CUT!

55 Willie McGinest, LB

You have a very good 2008 but overall your three years here have been a waste. You were supposed to be the veteran influence that would help develop the linebacking core. They developed to the worst linebacking core in the NFL. CUT!

56 Antwan Peek, LB

You have the scariest mug shot of anyone on the Browns but you can not stay healthy to save your life. Either you have bad luck or are fragile. Either way that leaves you in one spot. CUT!

58 Beau Bell, LB
It has been said that many other organizations did not think very highly of you in last year’s draft. Hopefully you can use that as a chip on your shoulder. There is little to no linebacking talent on this roster so you are worth keeping around. KEEP.

94 Leon Williams, LB
Neon Leon you are not. After looking line a successor to Andra Davis in 2007 you devolved in 2008. You got significant playing time at the end of the year and made zero plays. None. I don’t recall you every doing anything of substance. CUT!

95 Kamerion Wimbley, LB
Where do I begin? What looked like a sophomore slump is now a horrific trend. You still have only one, count them one, pass rushing move. Try to run around the tackle on the outside. This is not a formula for success. If anything it shows how brilliant Benedict Ozzie was in fleecing Phil Savage out of Haloti Ngata. It a season of disappointments, you are one of the largest. CUT!

96 Alex Hall, LB
For a seventh round choice from a D-II college you did more that anyone could have expected. You tapered off at the end of the season which will happen. Get someone who can actually coach you up and we may have something. KEEP.

2009 Cleveland Browns Cut List - Defensive Backs

Defensive Backs

20 Mike Adams, S

Nothing you did stands out, good or bad. When the starting safeties went down with injury you fill in and weren’t exploited. That counts for something. KEEP.

21 Brodney Pool, S

I have never thought very highly of you but you had a better year that I expected. Word on the street is that you many be better suited for strong safety which is curious. If that is the case then you need to have much more of an impact in both phases of the game. KEEP.

22 Brandon McDonald, CB

You got exploited this year that’s for sure. But you stood up and took accountability for your play, something that many other players on the team did not do. I still think you can be an effective player but your size may make you better suited for the slot receiver. KEEP.

24 Eric Wright, CB

I think you could be a corner piece for the defense for years but I do have an issue. How many times are you going to all a fade or corner route against you and not look for the ball? Ten? Twenty? Eleventy million? Sweet lord, when the receiver looks for the ball turn you damn head around! KEEP.

25 Terry Cousin, CB

How the hell have you been in the league this long? You are horrible! No wonder our defensive backs regressed if you were supposed to be the “veteran influence” for them. I thought Ralph Brown was bad but he was picked up off the scrap heap but you take the cake. Every opposing offensive game plan had this in it: Throw to whoever Terry Cousin is covering on third down. CUT!

26 Sean Jones, S

I thought you could become an Ed Reed or Troy Polamalu type force at strong safety: a hard-hitting, intimidating ball hawk that flew around the field and led the defense. You make a play from time to time but not enough to even sniff those players’ level. My memory of the season about you is the Browns’ being 0-3 and you having elective knee surgery to clean it out rather than sit out a couple weeks with a bye week coming up. Then you told the media you were doing it because it was your contract year and you were going to be a free agent. That told me all I needed to know. CUT!

39 Daven Holly, CB

I never would have thought that your loss would have had such an impact. But it resulted in moving B-Mac out of the slot and signing Terry Cousin. You also seem to be a ball magnet, grabbing 4-5 picks a year and a few fumbles. I hope you are 100% coming training camp. KEEP.

2009 Cleveland Browns Cut List - The Specialists

The Specialists

4 Phil Dawson, K

You may be the greatest pure kicker in franchise history and people still aren’t satisfied. If things don’t get much better for the team I am getting a #4 Phil Dawson jersey. If you didn’t play for the Browns you would be a perennial Pro Bowler. You are one of the few players we can be proud of. KEEP.

15 Dave Zastudil, P

You gutted out two weeks on a bum plant leg when most other guys would have hung them up. When you are healthy you are money. You’ve been hurt the past few years. Heal up. KEEP.

16 Joshua Cribbs, WR

What can be said that hasn’t already been? Hopefully, the new regime can find a way to get you 10+ touches on offense while not impacting your effect on special teams and returns. KEEP.

27 Nick Sorensen, DB

Every team needs a token guy who looks like a surfer or a burn out. You make plays on special teams and you actually were moderately effective on defense. Plus I work down the street for your high school. KEEP.

29 Jason Wright, RB

Always undervalued, but I see what you bring, superior work on special teams and always in the right spot for the blitz pick-ups. You are a solid all around back that every team needs. KEEP.

30 Gerard Lawson, DB

You showed a lot of promise in the pre-season and on special teams this year. We need a yound DB to emerge for depth. I hope it’s you. KEEP.

53 Kris Griffin, LB

I appreciate you are a former D-III college player but you’ve been hurt all year. We need your spot for younger, athletic linebackers. CUT!

64 Ryan Pontbriand, LS

Cool as the other side of the pillow. Keep them straight, Ponty, we can’t afford to burn another draft choice on a long snapper. KEEP.

2009 Cleveland Browns Cut List - Practice Squad & Others

The Practice Squad

8 Mike Dragosavich, P

Your name sounds eerily familiar to the impeached governor of Illinois. Do you have a horrible toupee? Are you trying to sell Senate seats to the highest bidder? No? CUT!

9 Lance Leggett, WR

I hear you have very skinny legs. That does not bode well for you. Plus I have no idea if you can catch.

44 Jed Collins, TE

The Browns lost three tight ends for the season finale and the team chose to use a back-up offensive lineman as the third tight end. The writing is on the wall my friend. CUT!

60 Melila Purcell, DL

You were drafted two years ago and have spent every single moment on the practice squad. Riveting. CUT!

62 Dustin Fry, OL

You could be a distant relative of Charlie Frye. Plus you took Lennie Friedman’s number. Bad move, my friend, bad move. CUT!

69 Christian Mohr, DL

You are the NFL Europe international designee. Awesome. NFL Europe is now defunct. CUT!

74 Kurt Quarterman, OL

I prefer pong over quarters. CUT!

83 Steve Sanders, WR

Cleveland born and Cleveland bred. You caught every pass throw to you this year. It may have only been one pass, but on this team that deserves recognition. Plus you are named after a guy from Beverly Hills 90210. KEEP.

90 David Holloway, LB

We have the worst linebacking core in the league and you couldn’t make the active roster, jeez. CUT!

Who the F#$% are These Guys

13 Richard Bartel, QB

You got that Week 17 bump up to the active roster so you can appear on the Browns’ all-time roster. Kudos. But I know Lang Campbell. I’ve seen Lang Campbell. You sir, are no Lang Campbell. CUT!

23 Travis Daniels, CB

We traded a seventh round pick for you play seven games and five tackles. You got to start one game and were pulled after one play. You couldn’t beat out Terry Cousin. This is not fuzzy math. CUT!

28 Allen Patrick, RB

Could be worse, you could still be at Oklahoma losing BCS games. CUT!

42 Hamza Abdullah, S

Inactive every game is not a good thing my friend. With that name I am sure you get harassed, sadly, at the airport every time. Could be worse your name could be Uleeq M’Diq or M’Balz Ez-Hari. (Thanks to SNL for those beauties.) CUT!

51 Shantee Orr, LB

You got cut out of training camp and only Antwan Peek’s knee injury brought you back. CUT!

59 Titus Brown, LB

You actually played in a game and made a tackle. Impressive for a Browns’ linebacker. Not enough however. CUT!

69 Eric Young, OL

You spent the entire year on the Non-Football Injured Reserve. Enough said. CUT!

79 Scott Young, OL

You got activated for the last game, as a third tight end. And you got called for holding like 50 times. Brilliant. CUT!

85 John Madsen, TE

The Browns had three tight ends out and they activated a back-up lineman instead of you. Hey, how ‘bout that. CUT!

88 Brad Cieslak, TE

I should keep you just for the name. Brad Cieslak is a great TV or movie name. You should look into that. CUT!